


Of Nightmares and Consolment

by SincerelyStarCadet



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, City Lights, Dreams, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, He gave up the book, Hurt/Comfort, Late Night Conversations, Late Night Japan, Light is no longer Kira, M/M, Night reflections, Nightmares, Post-Yotsuba Arc (Death Note), Some form of Established Relationship, lawlight, you'll see - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-09
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:46:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26379034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SincerelyStarCadet/pseuds/SincerelyStarCadet
Summary: Light awakes with a start from a terrible nightmare, and struggles to open himself up to L. Can L push past Lights walls and get him to let himself be consoled? Or will the past and its haunting be too much to bear for the both of them?
Relationships: L/Yagami Light
Comments: 4
Kudos: 117





	Of Nightmares and Consolment

L perched forward slightly more in his chair, sitting in his usual peculiar position. It was dark all around him, the only source of light being his laptop casting an artificial glow on his pale face. He sighed softly to himself, putting a thumb to his lip.  _ This isn’t making any sense... could these sorts of connections even be possible? _ L crouched further on his chair, lost in thought. The inner workings of L’s mind were complex and fast acting. It relied on logic, evidence, and facts. L sighed. Sometimes he cursed having such a genius’s mind. It often prevented him from sleeping, even if he wished to do so. 

“Light-kun” L said, not looking up from the computer screen. “Could you take a look at this for me?” He asked softly in a monotone voice. “I’m eager to see what you can deduce from this.” 

When Light didn’t respond L repeated his name slightly louder. “Light?” He asked again, and whipped his head around, curious.

A smile quirked at the side of his mouth at the scene he saw before him. Light was in bed with his laptop resting on his chest, his eyes closed. He had most obviously fallen asleep working on the case, his mouth just slightly hung open.

_ What have I told him about working in bed _ ? L got up and stretched, yawning as he shuffled over to the side of the mattress. His joints cracked in relief, finally having broken the long strain of sitting crouched and leaned forward.  _ He’s just going to fall asleep every time _ . He thought to himself with a fond sigh. There wasn’t any annoyance clear in L’s expression or thoughts, more a mere mix of amusement and fondness.

With great care, L carefully closed Light’s computer and moved it off of him, placing it on the bedside table, especially cautious not to disturb him. He then proceeded to take the covers and gently pull them over Light, right up to where the back of L’s hand briefly brushed against Light’s chin.

L smiled small and fondly down at the sleeping Light. His thumb caressed Light’s cheek, pressing gentle circles into his soft skin. It was odd. Slightly maddening even. He never pictured himself to ever have such interactions with another person, let alone similar feelings. People often pictured him as an unfeeling robot, which in reality was far from the truth. Well, the few people he came in contact with at the very least.

_ There's something so alluring about Light when he's sleeping _ . L observed, his thumb still slowly stroking Light’s cheek.  _ He’s so calm. Not the calm he normally displays, no. It’s a peaceful kind of calm _ . _ One that's different from the placid and intelligent composure he always manages to maintain.  _

L genuinely loved this side of Light. It was the honest, true side of Light; one that not too many were lucky enough to bear witness too. 

He withdrew his thumb from Light’s face, realizing just how long it had been there. He smiled warm-heartedly at him.  _ Perhaps I should join Light-Kun. He is always nagging me to get more rest.  _ L moved to the other side of the bed, carefully slipping his way under the covers. He maneuvered himself close to Light until their faces were mere inches away from each other, caressing Light’s cheek with his hand ever so slightly before he moved his hand down to Light’s chest. He sighed softly, feeling a steady, normal heartbeat. L shifted his position down slightly, and rested his head against Light’s chest.

He snuggled up to Light, positioning his head in just a way that he could hear the beats of Light’s heart. It was a comforting sound, knowing that Light was ok by listening to the rhythmic thrums of his heart. His heartbeat was steady, and acted as a calming white noise to L’s ears, gently soothing him to rest. “Goodnight Light-kun..” L murmured softly as he drifted into a warm and comfortable sleep. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

L awoke to the sound of his name being called. 

“L..” A strained sounding voice cut through the dark. 

“Light-kun?” L questioned with a frown. He peered over at the clock on the nightstand. The red numbers flashed 3:35 AM.  _ Light is rarely awake at this hour in the morning.  _ “Is something the matter? It’s quite early even for y-” “L!?” He was cut off by Light calling his name, the desperation in his voice clear as day.

_ He must be dreaming. _ L realized, concern lacing itself into a frown upon his face. “Light-kun, I am right here.” L reassured softly, turning to look at the sleeping Light. “It’s alright-”

“Stop please!” Light cried out. He shifted, his hands balling into defenseless fists.

“I can’t- L No! I- I’m sorry! Please!” Light whimpered, his eyes squeezed tightly shut, his brow creased in distress. L’s eyes widened. In one swift motion he switched on the light and sat up in bed. Leaning over Light, he shook him gently. “Light! Light wake up.” 

“ _ NO!”  _ Light woke with a start, almost bashing his head into L’s. He was drenched in a cold sweat, his eyes wide as he looked almost frantically around the room. “No, L, I- I-” Light stuttered in anguish. He shut his eyes tight, turning away from L, his breathing racked. L had never seen Light act this way before. It was a frightening sight to see someone so typically well collected look so distraught. 

Light locked eyes with L who was now leaned over Light so much that he was practically on top of him at this point. L gently gripped Light’s shoulder. “Shh. Light breathe for me. You need to try and steady your heart rate.” L spoke calmly, looking at Light with evident concern. Light nodded quickly, focusing on L to try and regulate his breathing. After a minute or so Light had visibly calmed down, his shaking subsiding for the time being. 

L waited another minute for Light to recover before he tempted the unspoken tension. “Are you alright?” He asked him, knowing the rhetorical sense of the question. Light breathed in deeply, pausing briefly before he could formulate a response. “I’m ok L.. just a bit of a nightmare is all.” He said shifting his eyes downcast to the sheets of the bed. “It's nothing to look so concerned over.” He smiled faintly, as he tried to sound reassuring. 

“You don’t seem fine.” L stated plainly. “Do you want a glass of water or some tea?” He  asked him.

“No it’s quite alright.. thank you though.” Light said, and L nodded in response.

There were a few beats of silence, the two of them sitting parallel to each other in bed. Light removed the covers off of himself. “It’s hot in here.” He muttered, pushing the covers to the end of the bed. It was, in fact, not hot in the room at all. L always kept the temperature at an approximate 69 degrees of comfortable fahrenheit. He claimed this was the ‘best working temperature.’ __

_ Light appears to be holding something back.. He seems very tense and hesitant.  _ L thought to himself as he analyzed Light. He couldn’t help himself, it was simply in his nature. Hardwired into him since his questionable childhood that consisted of solving crimes. He looked for clues in Light’s expression and actions as to how he was doing and what the dream was possibly about. 

“You know,” L spoke monotonously. “It’s been studied that talking about what you dreamt will help with coping.”

“Coping?” Light asked incredulously, giving L a weird look. 

“Yes, I believe that’s accurate to what I just said. Coping, Light-kun. You clearly dreamt of something quite frightening.” L said, starting to nibble on the side of his thumb.

“I’m fine L.” Light stressed, attempting to sound reassuring and failing miserably. He even put on a fake smile to top off the act.

L could easily see through Light’s facade. Even though they both were matched in wits, L had far more experience in the deductive field, and it did not help that Light was clearly not his normal calm and collected self.

“You are clearly not fine.” L reasoned.

“Yes I am.” Light stated plainly.

“You are terrible at lying in this state.” L observed, as he put his thumb up to his lip.

“I’m not in ‘a state’” Light scoffed, a hint of annoyance in his voice.

“You are. Would you like me to explain why I have made this deduction?” L inquired, with no intention of not doing so.

“L-“

“I had to wake you up from a night terror in which you were thrashing slightly and calling out my name. When I succeeded in waking you up, you awoke with a small scream and quite a start. Your pulse is higher than normal and you look quite pale.. Sickly even.” 

Light didn’t respond. Whether it was due to a lack of energy to do so, or a denial of the truth, L wasn’t so sure. It seemed as if he were unsure of how to respond, so L did it for him.

“Look at you.” L mused softly. “You're even shaking slightly still.” He reached out and gently grabbed Light’s hand carefully. At L’s sincere touch, Light flinched and withdrew his hand from L’s reach. He refused to look at him.

L frowned.  _ What is going on with him? _ “Light-kun, please tell me what’s bothering you. Clearly you’re very distraught.”

“L I am fine. I don’t need to talk about it.” Light spoke concisely.

“Light-kun I’ve already told you that talking about it will help you.” L replied simply. “Why won’t you-”

“Damnit L!” Light snapped, his harsh tone making L tense in surprise. “I’m fine! Just Stop!” Light spoke tersely, venom dripping from his voice.

L was bewildered. Light had  _ never _ spoken to him in such a way. L was always envious of Light’s charming and almost soothing tone of voice; he had never heard Light sound so frustrated. It felt as if he’d been slapped. He knew it was slightly ridiculous, as Light had only raised his voice, but he couldn't help himself. He wasn't used to this side of Light, and he certainly didn't like it in the slightest. 

Realizing how he reacted, Light’s features softened for a moment and he hesitated, drawing himself back from L and turning away from his sharp, knowing gaze. He withdrew himself hastily, quickly maneuvering his way out of bed. “I-” Light stuttered, taking a step back. He composed himself. “I think I need to be alone.” He stated coldly, more to himself than to L.

With that, Light turned and swiftly made his way out of the room without another word or glance at L. The sound of the door creaking shut softly resonated throughout the room for a small moment.

Whatever he dreamt of had upset Light in a way L had never bore witness to before. “Light.” L called his name; however, it only managed to manifest into a tenuous whisper. He knew the effort was futile, as Light had already left, yet the words had still clawed their way out of the back of his throat.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Light made his way out of the room as quickly as possible. He couldn't bear the weight of L’s stare. When he had looked at him, with that calm and tender gaze, Light felt L’s dark eyes pierce through him like a knife. 

Seeing L worried and concerned over his well being after what he had just dreamt made Light sick to his stomach.

_It felt so real.._ Light found himself thinking as he walked hastily through the vicinity. _L…_ _How could I have-_ _No. I need to stop this, I’m acting ridiculous._ Light shook his head, stopping his aimless walk for a moment. _I’m acting like a frightened child, this isn't like me at all. I’m a Yagami for christ’s sake!_

Light breathed in a deep breath, before he released a sigh and leaned against the hallway’s paper textured wall. He shut his eyes tight. Flashes of the dream pooled into his vision.  **L was lying there, motionless, the walls bathed in a red tinge. He was sprawled out on the hard metal floor, the riveting contrast between his soft, limp body and the cold, unforgiving ground extremely profound. A flower had blossomed from L’s chest, dripping with a crimson colored substance. Standing above him was a figure all too familiar in form to Light.** **_Kira;_ ** **His psychotic eyes were staring up at Light as a masochist’s grin formed on his face.**

His eyes shot open once again.  _ No! This isn't real, it can't be… I’m not Kira!  _ Light clenched his fist, his nails digging deeply into his palm. There was no way he could be Kira.. not anymore at least. L had helped him to give up the death note, and for that Light owed him his life. As cheesy as may sound, L saved Light from himself. He figured out Light's plan, and the connection as well as the corruption of the death note. Instead of having Light executed, L saw that he could save him, and managed to get through to Light, causing him to renounce ownership of the death note. He may have been saved from the binding hold of the death note, but the memories and thought of being that monster again shook Light to his core.

Light let out a pained gasp before releasing his grasp, not having realized how tightly he was clenching his palm. 

Light stared at the marks he made on his hand, a small amount of blood starting to seep through the crevices he made in his skin. He sighed, letting his arm fall to his side.  _ What is wrong with me?  _ Scanning the hallway for familiar features, Light recognized the door to the balcony platform access. 

Before he could register what he was doing, Light found himself moving again, this time out towards the door. The cool night air hit him immediately, the distinct scent of city air filling his lungs. 

He made his way over to the edge of the balcony, looking out over the city. Light placed both hands atop the railing, the sting from the cuts making him wince as they brushed the cool metallic surface. There was a sense of familiarity within the atmosphere of the city, even all the way up here Light could sense it. 

He sighed leaning over the edge of the building slightly.  _ What am I going to do? I couldn’t even look at L.. he knows something is wrong and I-  _ Light paused, breathing out.  _ I snapped at him.  _ He thought mournfully.  _ Surely he knows I didn’t mean it? I just needed to get out of there.. I couldn’t-  _ Light clenched his jaw tight.

Light's stomach clenched at the utter helplessness he felt in that moment. The image of L’s lifeless body seemed branded into the back of his mind; the sadistic laughter of Kira resonated in his ears and drowned out the sounds of traffic below. His mind was racing a mile a minute and he just wanted it all to stop. His thoughts were too loud. Too overwhelming. He wanted quiet and calm. Safety. 

Light put a shaky hand up to his mouth as he realized where he would get that feeling of security.  _ With L. I want L.  _ The realization hit him like a ton of bricks. But he couldn’t have L. Not now. Not after what he just saw himself  _ do.  _ He was dangerous, possibly insane; he had Kira  _ inside  _ of him.

He didn’t deserve to gaze fondly at L when he woke up in the morning. Didn’t deserve to run a hand through his raven tangled locks of hair. To recognize his deep knowing gaze. To hear his gentle, playful laughter and thoughtful inquiries. To see that beautiful smile of his on those rare occasions. To feel his soft lips against his own in a passionate embrace. 

The terrible realization seemed to crack the inside of Light, feelings of anguish dripping out of him like a leaky faucet. Light stared blankly at the city, feeling the darkness of the night creep into the back of his mind, fueling the tenebrous thoughts haunting him. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After approximately half an hour of searching for where Light had gone, L eventually found him. He peeked his head out of the door to the outside platform and, sure enough, there was Light. He was standing rather oddly, L observed. Slightly hunched over the railing, Light had both hands gripping the platform as he was lost, deep in the waves of thought. 

“Light?” L called out to him, working desperately to keep the hesitation absent from his voice. Light visibly tensed at the sound of his name. He didn’t respond and stayed staring out blanky over the balcony.  _ He obviously heard me.. Why is he not responding? _

L took a few steps towards Light. “Light-kun” L spoke softly, before walking even closer. This time, Light turned around to face L, but seemed frozen as L approached him tentatively.

“Light.” L spoke cautiously, care and concern laced into his voice. He took Light’s hand in his and kissed it gently, pressing his soft lips to Light’s palm and knuckles. He then brought Light’s hand up to caress his own cheek, L’s hand still softly placed on top of Light’s. 

“Why are you doing this L?..” Light spoke finally, so quiet that L could barely hear him, his eyes remaining downcast.

“What do you mean?” Asked L, his tone matching with Light’s.

“You’re not-, I don’t-“ Light started before stopping himself. He couldn't seem to find the right words to convey what he truly wanted to say. 

“You don’t what Light?” L pressed clemently. Light remained silent, his eyes looking anywhere but at L. “Light-kun please talk to me, tell me what’s wrong.” L conveyed, trying to get Light to talk to him. He was never like this, and it honestly terrified L to see him this way.

“Light-”

“I don’t deserve you...” The words slipped out of Light’s mouth in a heart wrenching whisper before he could restrain himself.

“Light-Kun..” L spoke confounded, his eyes widening slightly.  _ How could he have possibly come up with such a conclusion?  _

“You don't understand L.” Light reasoned pulling himself back from L’s tentative grasp. He stepped away from L, letting his hand fall back from L’s cheek. 

L refused to accept this reaction, not ready to give up on Light. He drew himself forward to Light, grasping his hand and pulling him closer to him once again. “Then make me understand. What is wrong Light-kun? I wish to know and help you.” L spoke earnestly, a look of determination present in his features. 

After a few beats of silence Light spoke again. “L you can’t.” Light started, moving away from L once again.

Sensing Light’s hesitation, L stepped forward and wrapped his arms earnestly around Light in a firm and comforting grasp. Light gasped mid sentence, tensing at L’s impulsive counterplay.

After a moment of silence, Light seemed to instantly melt into L’s contact. His tense frame ceased to be and he gave in to L. Light was tired, and he knew,  _ he knew  _ he didn't deserve this. He wanted to run, but he didn't. He couldn't. He was finally still, wrapped in the comforting embrace of the man he wanted but  _ didn't deserve _ . 

This time, L brought his hand up to caress Light’s cheek, his other arm still firmly wrapped around Light. A silent message seemed to be exchanged between the two of them;  _ I am here for you, so stay. _

L felt a small droplet of water fall on his shoulder.  _ Had it started raining?  _ He questioned looking up to feel another droplet. Realization hit when he heard a small sniff from the partner in his arms. 

_ Is Light.. crying?  _ L immediately released Light from his hold and stepped back.  _ Have I upset him more somehow? _

L bit his lip in worry. “Light-kun.. I am sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you further by possibly hugging you wrong or something of another nature. I’m not sure..” L said hastily, raising his hands slightly in surrender. 

Light let out a wet laugh, surprising L at his sudden positive reaction. “L no you’re fine, you did fine..” He said as he chuckled slightly to himself. 

"Come here.” Light beckoned L again softly towards him. There was almost a small hint of desperation in Light’s voice, one that even L could barely pick up on. L obeyed and scuffled back over to Light wrapping his arms around Light in a comforting presence once again.

Light returned the hug, maintaining a firm grasp around L. He wasn’t letting go anytime soon, and L would be there for as long as he needed.

“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong now?” L asked into Light’s chest where his head had been buried. Light laughed briefly at his impatience and wiped at his eyes. “Yeah.. Yeah ok..” He finally relented. 

L looked at Light with a prompting gaze. Light took a breath. “So I uh had a nightmare.” Light began. _ I sound like a five year old,  _ He thought miserably. L tilted his head. “I thought that was previously established.” He stated as if obvious, raising an eyebrow. “It  _ was _ .” Light gave a playful glare. 

L giggled slightly at Lights sarcasm.  _ This is good. _ He thought to himself positively.  _ I'm breaking him out of his shell slightly. _

“What happened in the dream?” L asked, hoping to engender an explanation. 

“I was getting to that.” Light responded with slight annoyance in his tone. He hesitated, but began slowly, explaining the dream to L as it flooded back to him in intense detail. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**Light walked into the room to find L facing him. “Good morning L.” Light smiled cheerfully at him, walking over to his desk to start working.**

**“Why hello there** **_Kira_ ** **.” L said, malice dripping from his tone. Light froze and turned around to face him. L was staring Light down, a look of sheer disappointment and heartbreak laced into his features.**

**“L I’m not-” “Yes you are!” L screamed at Light, startling him with an aggressive tone never used by L with him before. Light wanted to scream back, yell that he wasn’t Kira, but he couldn't. His voice came out a whispered plea. “L please..” He begged.**

**“You’re wrong.. I would never do anything that Kira does, you have to believe me!”**

**“Believe a liar and deceiver?” L snapped incredulously. “You must take me for a fool.. I have everything I need to convict you.”**

**Light stood in pure shock. “L please stop this. I’m not Kira!” He pleaded with him.**

**“No.” L responded flatly. “If you don't believe me.. just ask yourself.” He spoke cryptically. Light frowned in distraught confusion as another figure walked in the room, masked by the darkness of dimmed lights.**

**“Who’s there?” Light asked, attempting to mask his hesitancy.**

**“** **_It’s you_ ** **.” The figure spoke in an eerily sing-song voice.**

**The silhouette stepped into view to reveal another tall, amber haired, well presented and dressed young man. Wearing the exact same form fitting clothes as Light, along with the same face, the man glared and grinned at him simultaneously.**

**As much as the figure looked like Light, it was not him. Not entirely. His calm brown eyes were replaced with a red psychotic pair; his soft smile replaced with a satanic smirk.**

**“Who- who are you!?” Light demanded, the pit in his stomach growing rapidly.**

**The figure laughed insanely, his whole body racking with an intense deranged howling. “I already told you. I am you. I am** **_Kira_ ** **.” He spoke erratically, his voice a spine chilling distortion of Light’s own.**

**Light stood there completely aghast. “No! You're wrong! I’m not Kira!” He yelled in anguish.**

**A shrouding darkness tinged in a red light seemed to swallow up the room. The figure who called himself Kira became warped as he approached L drawing out a blade. “NO!” Light shrieked, refusing to believe his own eyes. He acted quickly and ran hastily over in front L, blocking him from Kira.**

**“Why are you doing this?” Light demanded. “Leave him alone!”**

**Kira laughed madly. “You can't fight yourself, I'm sure you know.” Kira taunted Light, the unhinged tone of his voice sending a shiver down Light’s spine.**

**Light watched on in horror as Kira’s hand suddenly warped and passed right through Light’s form.**

**Light gasped in the realization as the entire room went pitch black. L’s blood curdling scream rang through Light’s ears like a siren. The lights switched on once again.** **L was lying there, motionless, the walls bathed in a red tinge. He was sprawled out on the hard metal floor, the riveting contrast between his soft, limp body and the cold, hard ground extremely profound. A flower had blossomed from L’s chest, dripping with a crimson colored substance. Standing above him was** ** _Kira_** **, his psychotic eyes were staring up at Light as a masochist’s grin formed on his face. He dragged himself over to Light, his body contorted disgustingly as he laughed dementedly at the display before him.**

**“Can't you see what you've done? What you’re going to do?” Kira whispered manically into Light’s ear as he stared along with him at L’s motionless figure. The two mirrored one another, Kira standing over L with a horrific grin. Two sides of the same coin.**

**Light fell to his knees as everything drifted off into an intense darkness.**

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Despite looking away from L, Light could feel his knowing gaze burning into his skin. 

“Light.” L finally spoke. “You can’t possibly think that you are actually still..”  _ Kira. _ The words seemed like a dagger piercing his tongue. He paused as he looked up at Light, for once unsure how to proceed. 

“I do.” Light affirmed as he stared out at the night sky, off across the edge of the building. He looked down at all the small cars and people hurrying about below. It was late at night now, but there were still young couples and insomniacs out living their lives. Those who were sleeping now would wake only a few hours later, getting up to resume their busy normal lives. He missed when life felt that simple. 

“It sounds ridiculous to you because in truth, it is a dream.. but what if my previous assumption was right? What if I’m Kira subconsciously and I’m somehow hurting people still?” Light said mournfully, biting at his lip hard. “We can’t take the risk.”

"Take the risk? What do you mean take the risk?” L asked, looking incredulously at Light. 

“You know exactly what I mean L.” Light spoke, despondent and weary. 

L blinked at him. “No.”

“L-“ 

“No!” He repeated firmly with more emphasis. 

Light looked at L, surprised by his raised voice. L huffed in disbelief, narrowing his eyes at Light, the worry and fear shining through his gaze. “I am _ not _ going to convict or incarcerate you based on a dream. Do you have any idea how ludicrous that sounds?!” 

“Ludicrous? It’s only common sense!” Light stressed. 

“Would you listen to yourself?” L asserted pointedly, not about to let Light finish. He knew who Light was, and he would not let a nightmare distort the progress they had made in showing Light the separation between Kira and himself. “You’re sounding insane.” He spat before he could register his poor choice of words. 

“Well maybe I am!” Light shouted plaintively. 

L faltered. “Light I-“

“I don’t want to hurt you..” Light said, the heartbreak in his voice clear as day as his voice cracked painfully. “And If locking me away for good means I never do.. then I’m willing to make that decision.” 

L’s features immediately softened. “Light..” 

“Don’t you understand how I must feel?” Light spoke, his words a strained whisper. “If I’m Kira, and I don’t know it… then I have the potential to kill you. L..  _ I love you  _ with every inch of my entire being. If I ever hurt you in any way, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.. please understand.” 

Light looked at L with a pleading desperation that L had never seen in him before. It was sickening. The young man with a strong conviction, beautiful design, and the confidence to match, was whittled down by fear to the husk that presented its case today. L could not stand for it. The fears of being Kira that entangled Light's mind were gripping, but due to his stability, and soundness of his own mind, Light was able to quell these fears, and push them into the back corners of his thoughts. But as he stood here now, Light looked simply defeated. 

“L you have to listen-“ “ _No.”_ L cut Light off assertively, his expression devoid of any clear discernible emotion. “I think you should listen to me Light.” He paused before continuing, putting Light’s hands in his own as he looked up at him earnestly. “For I also love you with the same ferocity in which you just voiced to me. Seeing you incarcerated for crimes you didn’t commit, seeing you hurt yourself in such a way is something I can also not bear to see.” 

“Your display of emotion is real.. There is no way can it be a facade. Light, there is no possibility in which you are Kira.. even subconsciously, I’m sure of this now. Your fears of being Kira, which I fret I implanted into your mind, are just that; fears, and nothing more. They manifested themselves into a nightmare which has understandably left you quite shaken.You gave up the book my love, and with it you gave up Kira. He is dispelled from you, an entity that can no longer corrupt you.”

“Light..” L spoke sincerely, drawing him close. “You will not hurt me. You are not Kira. I  _ know you _ .”

It took a moment for all of L’s words to register. The silence of the night was deafening as the two young men stared at one another, hand in hand. No words were spoken between them, but Light’s calloused hands squeezing L’s delicate ones said more than enough. Light stared down at their entwined hands and tightened his grip slightly. He looked at the man who returned the exact same love present in his eyes, and smiled. The man with raven tangled hair and pale porcelain skin. Eyes, deep and dark as caverns, a knowing presence about him always.

L knew who Light truly was, and was convinced that Kira was something of a separate nature, not Light, but a corruption that took hold in him. He had been witness to both the dark and vulnerable nature of Light’s person, and could distinguish his lover from the monster that was Kira. The pure belief in L’s eyes was enough to turn anyone over. The belief that Light was good, that he was to be trusted and loved, was so evident, it was simply astounding. 

L squeezed Light’s hands back, and leaned up to plant a soft kiss on his nose. A simple, yet sweet gesture, that would leave a lingering sense of comfort where the touch originated. The two lone detectives stared out at the lit city, taking in the lights, the moon, and the calming presence of familiarity with one another. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Hey! Thank you so much for reading. Kudos and Comments keep me writing and are really appreciated! I've got more stuff that's ready to post, I just haven't uploaded anything yet. Let me know in the comments if you'd like to see more :)


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